willandadri.com

weekend travel seems to be an every weekend occurrence lately.  we just got back from roanoke late last night after traveling in for uncle tommy’s memorial service. 

while in town we were able to visit uncle arnold and aunt sheree at their lake house on saturday.  carmen brought ellie in for an afternoon of baby lessons and entertainment.  we all had a wonderful time speaking baby babble and learning about car seats, diapers, and bath time.  carmen and neil are so blessed to have such an adorably cute and sweet baby.  ellie is a charmer.  she and james hit it off and had a great time reading story books and playing with ellie’s toys.  ellie’s favorite activity was laughing at granny covey’s attempts at baby babble.  she’d crack up every time granny came at her with this “abababababa ooooohhhhhh babbabbbyyy awwwwww oooochhiieee cooooochiieee babbbbuuuu”.  (who wouldn’t be laughing right?)

sunday morning we woke up early to hit up blue collar joe’s donuts since they are all the rage these days.  our breakfast began with a donut sampling including:  botetourt bog, nutty buddy, obx, pretzel, peanut, turtle, pink lemonade, zebra, oreo, reece’s pieces, and the infamous breakfast sampler which includes blueberries, maple frosting, and bacon!  we all enjoyed our sugar highs and packed into three cars and headed to the peaks of otter for uncle tommy’s memorial service. 

the fog was dense going up the mountain and i was a nervous wreck.  mom was driving the car i was in.  mom loves to talk with her hands.  mom loves to talk while driving.  for the most part of the ride i was in the front passenger’s seat with my hands over my face swatting at her hands every time she’d lean over to point out some attraction off the side of the blue ridge parkway that we “should” be able to see if the fog weren’t so thick.

we safely arrived at the peaks and got out to snap some photos around the pond before the luncheon and ceremony.  we all enjoyed the scenery including about a dozen deer that we spotted on multiple occasions.  at one point we were sitting in the lodge down stairs and a deer came running past the windows.  i jumped up to take a photo, but was too slow.  luckily i caught his friends after lunch and held a photo shoot with them. 

the memorial service was a time to share our fond remembrances of uncle tommy.  everyone spoke about how kind, compassionate, caring, hard working, dedicated, and loving he was.  aunt pat and uncle tommy would have been married for 41 years today.  they spent the first night of their honeymoon at the peaks of otter and then came back annually on their anniversary to celebrate.  pat said even when they did not have enough money to eat in the lodge they’d still come back with a picnic basket.  as we began to cry, the rains began to fall.  the rain falling on the pond seemed quite fitting.  afterwards we took roses and laid them by a tree near where uncle tommy’s ashes had been spread.  pat was happy to have all of us there to help her memorialize uncle tommy’s memory and to celebrate his life and their lives together. 

we love you uncle t.

this past weekend was our big trip to baltimore to see family and friends and have will’s second opinion appointment with johns hopkins.  the trip to nova was not too bad on saturday, and we did not reach screeching halt traffic until just after stafford.  it’s amazing to me how tolerant we used to be when we lived up there.  now we can get anywhere in town with little to no traffic and we are a lot more impatient with traffic woes.  however, once we arrived in nova we made a pit stop at ikea.  here we scored some frames for the nursery room as well as some other household items that were at amazing prices.  after our shopping stop we headed to herndon to meet up with will’s sister and the kids. 

the kids came flying out the door to greet us and show us their latest tricks on their bikes.  we watched while ethan raced up the street and showed us how fast he could pedal.  then he offered merri a rideand they rode tandem style around the cul-de-sac.  lynn reminded the kids that we were going to the park, so if they wanted to come with, they had better get in the car.  we met up at a local park and played on the swings and monkey bars for a few hours.  it was good to see them all and catch up.  lynn was throwing mike a celebratory wine and cheese dinner later that evening so we said our good byes and headed on our way.

we made it to md before sunset and checked into the aloft hotel.  the hotel is very modern with a lounge, bar, and all kiosk check-in and check-out stations.  since we were a gold rewards member they checked us in at the desk.  (don’t ask me how i got this, they just sent it to me in the mail.)  anyways, we had fun at the hotel and enjoyed all of the out of the ordinary stuff including the neat-o elevator floor.  the next morning we woke up early to head into baltimore’s inner harbor area to grab some breakfast and go to the aquarium.  the breakfast spot was one that is a local favorite on yelp and has been picked as having some of the best breakfast food by food network – miss shirley’s.  we really enjoyed our breakfasts and then headed over to meet melanie, nick, and laura for a day at the aquarium.  we all got our tickets and headed into the dolphin show.  will and i had seen it before, but it had been some time ago, and i have a much better camera now!  we were amazed at all of the people there that day, it was jam packed!  however, we all had fun as we made our way around the entire aquarium.  we all headed to lunch afterwards and then the three of them had to head back to va and we stayed and walked around the harbor, had a glass of wine and some dessert, and toured a lighthouse before the rain settled in.  on our way out of town we grabbed some cheeses at whole foods to make a cheese plate for dinner. 

the next morning we braved more rain for yet another foodie adventure.  this time it was the blue moon cafe – as seen on “diners, drive-ins, and dives”.  here they feature captain crunch french toast.  if you know will and i we love sweet things and breakfast food is one of our all time favorites.  this place only had 6 tables, and after you put your name on the list you had to head back outside in the rain to wait for your turn.  we waited patiently – with grumbling tummies – for our turn at the crunchy toast!  finally we were called!  we wiped the drizzle from our brows and took our seats right by the front window.  the waitress came and told us about specials and took our orders.  our crunchy toasts were out in no time flat.  we both loved the french toast and just wish we could have had room to finish it all!  yummo! 

after breakfast we walked around fell’s point and visited all of the local shops and walked up and down the cobble stone streets before heading on our next great search.  we were on a mission to find “charm city cakes”.  we’d read online before going that you are not to come on the property and to not even think about ringing the door bell or knocking, but all we wanted was a snapshot!  we followed the garmin to the building which was in the middle of a downtown area with abandoned row homes on one side of the street and a car repair shop on the other.  we made our way to the corner and husband stood for his photo.  he said – duff is right there!  i did not see him at first, but then i told will to scooch over so i could get him in the shot.  by the time will took my photo duff had moved behind the girl with the hoodie, but we totally saw him – which was neat-o in my book.  it’s funny how some people love movie stars, others love people who write amazing books, others love famous musicians, but will and i – we love famous foodies!

after the stalkerish acts at charm city cakes we decided to go to the art museum.  well, one thing we learned about baltimore is that just about EVERYTHING is closed on monday!  how rude!  we got to the museum and found it was locked up tight on monday and tuesday.  husband said – what now.  i said – ellicot city.  i’d read on the new york times that this was a must see stop while in md.  we made our way to the historic area and parked the car for a charming little afternoon.  the town feels super haunted and amazingly deja vuish.  it was kind of dreamy like and a little erie as we walked the streets.  i saw a few things i wanted to buy as we traipsed in and out of little antique stores, but i was scared to bring any of that stuff into our house.  spooktacular.  gives me the willies just thiniking about it! 

tuesday was the big day for the johns hopkins appointment.  will was a tad bit nervous so he had me driving us to the office.  i was a tad bit nervous that we were going to be late, so we were in a bit of a frenzy.  however, we made it there just in time and sat patiently in the waiting room until it was will’s turn to go back.  the doctor was in quickly and chatted with will about how he was doing and what issues he had had etc.  he took lots of notes and then did a phyiscal exam of the area.  he confirmed that he thought he was healing nicely and he saw no reason to have any further surgeries, if everything stayed as it was.  he suggested will get a baseline mri within the next few months so he would have something “clear” in his file for comparison sake if it was ever warranted.  he asked if we had any other questions and gave will his business card.  he told will to call him if he ever had any questions etc. and told us he wished we had a safe trip back to nc.  just like that – it was over – case closed – final chapter written.  will and i gave each other hi fives, hugs, and a celebratory toast for breakfast afterwards.  we confirmed that now we really could move full steam ahead with our adoption plans.

we’re up to wrapping up lots of projects that have been on the books for way too long.  sometimes you just look at things and you think – well, we can do that next weekend – or, let’s put that on the back burner – or, we really just don’t have time for that right now.  well, the time to wrap up all of those things on barnhill is now.  i’d been working on the dining room since before will’s surgery, and it got pushed to the back burner for a long time.  however – proud to report – as of today – it is done!

we hope to be doing a lot more of these little piddly projects that we’ve been putting off.  as we prepare to file adoption papers in december we have come to the conclusion that our time to lounge about is just about over.  our focus has shifted.  will imed me this afternoon to tell me all of the chores he was going to work on when he got home.  the crazy thing is that we are both excited to be on this band wagon because we know that the more stuff we get out of the way, the easier it will be for us to feel 100% comfortable when we file papers.

i realize that this blog post has sort of spilled into a crossover of the topics that are generally on www.willandadrifindbabies.blogspot.com- there has to be a point when they become one.  i’ve started to wonder lately just when that will happen, and the more i write, the more i realize that our lives are all about our excitement for the baby that will soon be in our future, and the plans to get that baby into our home.  you know when you are truly ready to parent – when every thought you have is centered around the love of your child.

will and i are there.

new report just came out from us news & world reports that johns hopkins baltimore is the number 1 hospital in the country.  so glad we are going there in august for will’s follow up appointment.

US  News and World Report

the bump has been gone for weeks now, and will is headache and pain free.  we really never dreamed that all of his chiari symptoms would be diminished within 4 months of the surgery.  although will’s neurosurgeon said he’d only ever seen the lump happen to one other patient, he did tell us that the other patient’s lump went away in 60 days.  it was funny that i reminded will on day 60 that his lump was also gone.  maybe it just takes some people longer to heal.

we’ll see what dr. weingart has to say, and hopefully we’ll be closing the door on this chapter.

so, if you are following our other blog – you already know i am a sobbing cry baby lately.  however, i might just be able to blame it on venus.  don’t some people think that all of your hormones and stuff are tied into the phases of the moon and all of that stuff?  yes?  no?  well, whatever – that is what i am going with.

last night while we were enjoying our steak dinner, our wine, and our movie – i looked out the window and noticed how gorgeous the moon was in the sunset sky.  i begged will to go grab my camera and he kindly obliged.  i snapped some shots so that everyone could see.  then, as i threw open the window to view the moon a bit better i noticed something else hanging out in the sky just to the right of the moon.  i zoomed in and snapped some photos.  i was pretty happy with the detail my little camera caught of venus last night.

we’ve been waiting for rain for weeks now.  finally – last night – on the roof i heard a down pour.  by the time i ran to the office, grabbed my camera, and made it to the front door, all that was left was a measly drizzle.  drat!  still – it brought out the frogs, which we eternally love as our outdoor pets.  our plants enjoyed the mist of rain, but we still have only one baby infant tomato and nothing else exciting going on in our screened in porch garden.

now that i am less groggy i can remember something really great that happened this weekend!

yesterday husband and i went to the post office to mail caleb’s b-day giftie and picked up the painting i ordered off etsy several weeks ago from portugal.

i am living a dream of having a house full of original art work.  it’s something that my aunt pat (an amazing artist herself) always had, and i hope to one day have too. 

a few weeks ago, i went on etsy and just ordered a couple of pieces that i’d saved in my favorites pile.  they were not expensive, and mean a lot more to me than a couple trips out to eat.  super excited to have them gracing the walls of this place.  i smile and sing to them everytime i pass them.

here is the portrait from portugal:

yawn – stretch – must – have – more – coffee

will’s busily working on job #2 and the church website this afternoon.  however, i have been completely useless.  after church we went to saffron (indian in morrisville) and i got a bad case of the sleepies.  i feel asleep before we were on 540 back to wf.  i came home, did not even let the dogs out of their crates, and fell back asleep again.  i just woke up.  i figured if i did not drag my lazy butt out of bed i would never be able to sleep tonight.  so – here i sit blasting adam lambert (whataya want from me) and chugging what is left of this morning’s pot of coffee.  hopefully i can stay awake until regular bed time now.

yesterday we had fully intended to go to the beach and catch some sun, some waves, and some relaxation.  however, our plans were derailed by the weather forecast which was calling for 60% chance of rain off and on all day.  instead we stayed in town and met kathy and mark at the bowling alley where will mopped the floor with us.  it seems his time away from bowling did not hurt his abilities at all.  he input his name as “zipper” in honor of being a zipper head, and of course i had to then be “dee doo dah” – go figure.  however, even on his coattails, i could not do any damage to those pins.  after bowling we all headed back over to the house where we played wii games.  kathy was an expert at winter sports and took us all in figure skating.  after the final awards ceremony we watched “the hangover”.  it was great to have a full two hours of full on belly laughter.  fun indeed.

this morning we got up and will made the coffee while i prepared our breakfast.  the doggies decided they deserved something nice too, so we got them some of their zucchini treats that we picked up for them at the farmer’s market yesterday.  they declared them delicious, so i guess we will have to get some more next weekend.  now i will have to hit the internet for more adoption research.  darla kay (at church) reminded us today that God will lead us to the right agency.  i am sure she is right, and i feel like we are on the right path.  hopefully we will get there soon.

okay, so its probably not cool to toot your own horn, but i think this is pretty noteworthy.

as most of you know, will and i are yelpaholics.  for those of you who do not know what yelp is, you best get out there and go to: www.yelp.com and check it out.

i recently got an email from the marketing team at a new restaurant that i recently reviewed in wake forest that they’d like to use my photos and yelp review for their website.  they are offering me a free meal for compensation, so it looks like my “yelparazzi” tendencies might finally be paying off.

below are the screenshots from the website, and here is the link to the restaurant’s page:

http://www.girasoletrattoria.com/

july 4th is will’s busiest time of work every year, so i usually make my own plans to be out of town at smith mountain lake visiting with the folks and granny c.  this year was a little different.  lori phoned me about a week before the holiday and told me that she and chris would be heading down to lake gaston, nc to hang out with chris’ uncle.  since lake gaston is only about an hour from my house, i decided i’d switch up my holiday routine and head out to see her and chris this past saturday.  i then coaxed mom and dad into coming to visit and bringing granny, since dad was having a meeting in raleigh on tuesday.  everything worked out better than we could have planned, and i even got mom and granny over to the airport to see lori and chris yesterday before they flew back to chi town.

lori and i had a great time at the lake and really got to spend some time catching up, talking about our adoption research, and catching some sun burn.  mom thought she had a trick for us to take two aspirin before going in the sun (and when combined with sunblock this would prevent sun burn), however after taking the aspirin lori and i both ended up with the worst sun burns of the group.  go figure.  either way, we had fun chatting and relaxing on the dock.  later on saturday night we all piled into the boat and headed out for fireworks on the lake.  we had a great time bobbing up and down in the boat trying to keep our heads pointed in the direction of the fireworks display.  lori even recited a memorized speech from 4th grade, while others shared their singing skills.  fireworks on the lake were followed by the great sparkler extravaganza.  no 4th of july festivities can be complete without them.  after this, chris’ uncle tom set off some amazing fireworks of his own.  we all had a really great time relaxing on the deck after the show.

sunday morning i got up and had a late breakfast (when these people have a meal, they really have a meal.  for example, breakfast on sunday included juevos rancheros and bananas foster.) with lori, chris, and chris’ family before heading back to wfto meet up with mom, dad, and granny.  they arrived in time for a potty break and then we headed over to meet will in time to see fireworks.  we’d planned to go to the nc art museum grounds to see the show, but they’d blocked it off so we ended up in a parking lot across the street.  however, everything worked out just fine and we had our little pic nic right there on the grass.  everyone enjoyed the grapes, cherries, popcorn, peanuts, and fireworks.  after the show, we headed out to forage for a real dinner.  everyone was closed, so we ended up at the ihop.  will and dad feasted on all you can eat pancakes, and we had a good time with our waiter.  granny was thrilled she could eat off of the kids menu for $4.

monday was a shopping day.  since mom’s surgery, she’d been practicing walking longer distances and doing well getting in and out of the car, and really getting around much better than she ever was before the surgery.  we made all of her favorite stops and she and dad got new shoes at kohl’s and some new things for the house at home goods.  everyone enjoyed relaxing on the screened in porch and watching the sunset each evening.  granny said she felt like we kept the house too “cool”, so we constantly found her out there, or up in her room with the vent closed.  this morning granny decided she felt “useless” so she wanted to clean the windows.  i try to keep the house pretty clean, but never does it cross my mind to clean windows, so i since i did not want to deprive granny of a feeling of worth, i let her go ahead and clean all of the windows.  go granny go!

while their visit was too short, it was certainly great to see everyone in this whirl wind week!  we had a great time catching up, hanging out, and spending time with each other!

Yea yea yea I know I haven’t posted in a while.  Life has been a bit hectic lately which in a way is both good and bad.  It is very tiring but also refreshing that things are slowly but surely returning to “normal” (whatever that means).

So I was reminded that last Sunday was my 2 month anniversary of the date of my surgery.  It is surreal … in some ways it seems like very long ago and in some ways just like yesterday.  It is still difficult to believe someone can heal so much in a matter of a couple of months.

I am slowly but surely getting my energy back.  I was even able to do some yard work for an hour or so the other evening.  Work still both mentally and physically exhausts me but it is getting better.  When I first started back I practically collapsed into bed each day just resting, feeling like I had just come from an intense workout.  It is much better now.  I can come home and do a few chores before collapsing.

Now the weird part is that I am exhausted from all of this but have had serious issues with sleep.  For whatever reason I just cannot seem to fall asleep.  I am constantly restless tossing and turning all night trying to find that magic sweet spot that will calm me down and put me to sleep.  I used to simply take 2 benedryl and that would relax me enough to allow me to sleep fairly quickly.  No such luck anymore.  I have tried unisom, natural sleep aids, etc and so far the only relief has been from a combination of one unisom and four benedryl.

The great news is that I am hoping the leak has healed.  The lump has not made an appearance for about 4 days now and when it did the week before that it was very infrequent and much smaller than before.  We scheduled an appointment at John’s Hopkins on 8/3 when the lump was in full force.  Our hope is that when we see Dr. Weingart it will simply be a confirmation of our hopes and that everything will be okay.

So until next week it is YET and hardware migration time. Working 12 hour shifts for 24×7 coverage until July 12.  Won’t get on here much before then I reckon but hopefully I will be more diligent with keeping this updated once I do.

will’s gearing up for the busiest time of year at work.  his team works around the clock starting tomorrow, and he’s been a bit worried about being behind schedule from taking the month off from his surgery.  i’m sure things will go well, and everything will be fine – but we have a bit of a nervous nelly on our hands this week.  he’s working late tonight to make sure everything is in place, so i’m focusing on getting things done around the house.

while will has been working on overdrive i’ve been working on some things around the house.  i recently completed a tiny laundry room makeover.  its kind of a joke here because amelia destroys anything new you add to her crate the moment you lock the door, however iliana loves her crate (and everything inside it) and loves to spend all day in it.  i got a rug to cover the a/c vent, since even when the vent is closed air was still blowing into amelia’s down stairs apartment.  iliana sleeps in the penthouse.  the main reason is because she loves the crate more than anything, so since we had to stack them we put hers on top.  it really makes my life a living nightmare all day long, since she cannot get into it by herself – so she constantly is scratching and pawing for me to pick her up and deliver her to the sky box.  however, she reassures me she loves the dog house makeover.  we added some photos of the pups, since it really is their room – and it makes it a bit more exciting to do laundry now too.  (amelia’s bed was destroyed in record time.  to give you a clue this is the third bed she has had in her dog crate since will’s surgery.)

for the past six months we have been on the search for iliana’s “chewcheese”.  they are these tiny rolled rawhide sticks that are wrapped in dehydrated chicken.  she consumes them like they are drugs, and she just cannot get enough of them.  she had terrible withdrawals, like you would see on intervention – but slowly she weened off since target stopped carrying them for over 5 months.  anytime we found anything we thought would pass, we’d bring it home and offer it up to her and she would spit it out on the floor.  princess?  spoiled rotten?  you betcha.  well, on our latest trip to target we saw they had recently redone the entire doggie aisle with all new boots & barkley stuff.  we saw the place where the coveted “chewcheese” used to hang, but they were not there.  just when we got ready to leave the aisle, i looked down and found an entire bin of them!  all brand new, repackaged, and ready to go!  we surprised the doggies with the “chewcheese” over the weekend and they’ve been in a euphoria ever since.

sunday night will and i decided it might actually be cool enough outside to tackle the “weed bed” out back.  it was supposed to be a plant bed full of hostas and other assorted bushes that lined our back screened in porch, but recently with everything going on it has been rather neglected.  with weather in the 100′s all weekend we figured 7pm was time enough for a cool down.  we worked to get all of the weeds pulled and then will sprayed for any that contemplated returning.  while he was spraying for weeds, i ran and got the hose and decided he should be sprayed down.  we ended up spraying each other like we were 6 years old.  i really am considering buying a sprinkler.  do you think someone would call the authorities for two people in their thirties running through the sprinkler?

we’ve been so excited about the success of our orchid plant.  this lovely beauty has been in our care for over 60 days now and is really doing amazingly well!  i scheduled a photo shoot with it on sunday afternoon and made sure to snap some photos so everyone could see how gorgeous this little guy is!

two weekends have come and (almost) gone since we’ve last posted an update.  a lot of people have asked us if blogging is “less important” or if we are too busy to blog lately.  really its some of the busyness that is an issue, but also its a lack of things to blog about.  sometimes its hard for us to imagine that our lives are all that important to read about, especially when there is no drama going on.

will’s been doing a lot better recently.  we submitted paperwork for second opinions and are waiting to hear back, but we still just hope and pray that by the time we get said appointment there will be nothing to discuss.  i strongly feel that things are moving in the right direction, and that his healing is improving on a daily basis.  i know it is frustrating for him when he gets headaches, still has a lack of energy, or gets tired easily, but look how far we’ve come in 54 days.  its really miraculous if you stop and think about it.  i just know that in almost another 54 days he will probably look back and not believe this road he’s traveled down. 

so what have we been up to?  well, aside from work and the mundane we’ve been able to get will back into the saddle of trying out new restaurants for yelp and we even were invited to a complimentary dinner for two at a brand new restaurant in wake forest.  since the chef that owns the restaurant is one of our favorites from chapel hill and durham, we were honored to try out this new restaurant “girasole trattoria” on its opening night last saturday.  wednesday presented us with a terrible thunderstorm, which will was caught out in.  the doggies shivered their timbers under my desk while we waited for daddy to get back from his hair cut appointment.  luckily we all survived the storm and were thankful for the rain to water the plants.  last night will said he was eager for some sushi after a long afternoon in the heat at the farmer’s market, so we checked out a place he’d heard good things about and had a great sushi dinner.  it was great to reconnect with some friends at church this morning and share a meal over a pot luck luncheon.  once we got back home we got back into chores and checked out the new house being built in the lot behind ours.  its kind of neat to see a house mid-construction to know what’s under all of the drywall and wood.  i also checked their vantage points to see what they could see of our house from the windows they have that face our lot.  luckily one is in a garage and the other is in an unfinished room, so we’re still safe to eat breakfast in our pajamas on saturday mornings.

the thing that has happened recently that was the most shocking to me happened last tuesday.  the entire day came and went and it was not until around 10pm when i asked will how his “bump” was doing.  i was shocked that i had gone the entire day without it  being the “hot” topic.  however, it was quite comforting and reassuring that slowly but surely we are getting our lives back, and that this “bump” in the road is not going to steer us off course in prep of bigger things to come for 2011.

pluggin’ along. 

we’ve been hanging in there this past week.  amelia and iliana got in a huge spat last thursday and it all ended with amelia ripping out one of her claws.  ouch!  i rushed her to the vet, but they determined the claw was completely ripped out, so they flushed the wound, gave her some strong antibiotics, some pain pills, wrapped her up in a cast, and sent her home.  two hours later we were back in action.  iliana missed her the entire time she was gone.  will said she was freaking out while we were gone, but its so strange that they fight with each other when they are together.  just like real sisters – i reckon.

we’ve finally gotten back into the groove of cooking our own meals and eating things that are on my low carb diet.  sunday i baked a ham and then used the ham bone to make a large vat of granny style green beans.  granny could have offered me brownies or green beans, and i would have always gone for the beans.  nothing like granny’s green beans!  i tried to make them about 4 months ago, but did not do a very good job.  this version cooked with the ham bone for about 8 hours on monday and they turned out perfectly granny style!

doing all of the yard work myself is no fun.  sometimes its good to just have some company when you are up to your neck in weeds.  but i put on my big girl panties and fixed one of the plant beds by the drive way this weekend.  the other one is calling my name tonight, before the heat wave comes back!  hopefully now i can just maintain this mess with tons of chemical warfare.  i hate to use chemicals, but sometimes you really just have to.

the bump comes and goes, and lately its more gone than here – so we hope we are moving in the right direction.  with everyone’s prayers and focusing on the miraculous disappearance of the crazy old thing, we hope we can kick it without any further surgery!  keep on praying!

Sooooo such a confusing time.  My neurosurgeon says (via my PCP) that nothing will help the CSF leak and I must have surgery to repair it.  However my MIL’s DO says there is a 50/50 chance it will heal itself.  Google says that depending upon the circumstances most CSF leaks resolve themselves.  Hopefully my chances of not having to have another surgery are improving.  I would hate more than anything to have to go through that again simply because it would feel like the first surgery was a waste of time.  After all that we have been through I am not ready to do that again very soon.  I have also been very nervous the past few days since my neurosurgeon told me (again through my PCP) that there is no real danger associated with waiting and seeing what happens but that there is a risk that my symptoms could come back.  I think he jinxed me because for several days after that my neck has been very stiff and sore in the right neck muscle.  It has even limited my mobility looking to the right a bit so I was worried that they were indeed coming back.  But this morning I noted that the soreness was still here but not as bad and the stiffness is gone.  Also the lump has been gone for the majority of the day and when it was here it was much smaller than usual.  I am trying to stay positive and hoping this means the healing is coming along slowly and we are on the right track.