I suppose during those really tough times in life everyone is prone to some internal reflection. It is natural to draw inward and reflect on your relationship with God and have regrets that you have not done as well as you could have and should have. \u00a0We all are fallen people. \u00a0As I drove in to work today I was again reminded how blessed I am to have such a strong support network going through these tough times. \u00a0A myriad of thoughts passed my mind and I just had to write them down to capture them before they were forgotten.<\/p>\n
I may not know why this is happening but I am firmly convinced that God is in control and it is happening for a reason. I can’t fathom how somebody could go through something this tough without that faith and belief. Because of my faith I trust that God will take care of me and everything will work out well in the end. Because of my faith I know that even if everything doesn’t turn out well in the end God is in control, it will happen exactly as he has designed, and there is a purpose behind what happens.<\/p>\n
I am also a firm believer that God uses trials and tribulations to draw us closer to him and that for those of us (like myself) who are very stubborn, the trials are often more difficult to manage. \u00a0I know that with my personality if everything in life were going great God would take a back seat and I would think that I do not need him. \u00a0It is sad to say that many people naturally fall under that category of only calling on God in great times of need. \u00a0I believe God allows these trials in our life as a constant reminder that we do need him. \u00a02 Corinthians 2 : 7 – 9 have been my mantra in this belief. \u00a0In this passage the apostle Paul is quoted:<\/p>\n
To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. \u00a0Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. \u00a0But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness<\/span>.”<\/p>\n This is a very powerful and loaded passage to me. \u00a0There has been a lot of speculation on what this thorn in the flesh is but that is beside the point. \u00a0While most of us may have not had a surpassingly great revelation, I believe we all suffer with one or more thorns in the flesh as a constant reminder that God is in control and we are weak humans who are in need of his fellowship, mercy, and healing. \u00a0It is a reminder that we are saved by grace not works and that it is okay if we are a mess. \u00a0To God we are a beautiful mess. \u00a0We will all fall down but we will be fine as long as we realize the important part is that we get back up and continue moving in the right direction rather than continue to lay on our face wallowing in our failure and self pity. \u00a0It is also a reminder that God uses the most horrible things in our life for his glory. \u00a0Certainly we should take notice when someone who has seemingly never had difficulty says I am truly blessed and God is good. \u00a0But to me the most powerful stories are those where people have a sordid and scarred past and say I was the lowliest of the low, not worth anything in people’s eyes, I have done horrible things, but God saw me and loved me anyway and has really turned my life around. \u00a0It may sound crazy to others but I believe that without weakness and tribulations our character is never truly tested and our witness is weakened.<\/p>\n I also believe that God has had a strong hand in these current trials. \u00a0Many may consider it coincidence but I consider it Providence. \u00a0I will give you just a few examples although I could really go on and on for a long time. \u00a0Before I was diagnosed with Chiari and Syringomyelia I was struggling with back pain and looking for alternatives. \u00a0My mother-in-law suggested a DO as an alternative to a chiropractor. \u00a0I asked my doctor about it and lo and behold there was a DO in her office although she informed me that they were very hard to find in NC. \u00a0Fortunately for me he did not do neck, head, and upper spine adjustments. \u00a0I did not know at that time but that would have been disastrous for somebody with Chiari. \u00a0I now know that if you ask a reputable Chiropractor to do a neck, head, or upper spine adjustment and they are aware you have Chiari they will refuse to work on you. \u00a0I have read the phrase “like throwing a match in a gas tank” in regards to having adjustments. The timing was also fortuitous as we are now beginning preparing to begin the adoption process. \u00a0I can’t imagine how tough it would have been on my wife if we had actually adopted a little one and she suddenly had to take care of both me and an infant. \u00a0Or worse if we were notified that there was a baby we could adopt but we had to turn down the adoption and put the process on hold to sort this surgery out. \u00a0I have no proof but also now believe that our previous miscarriages may be partially if not fully my fault simply because there is no proof but much evidence that Chiari is hereditary and many Chiarians have children with Chiari as well. \u00a0I can’t help but think it is not coincidence that our pregnancies terminated at the exact same<\/strong> week and day each time and it just so happened that this was during the beginnings of the brain development stage. Also the fact that I have not had the opportunity to take a vacation and have plenty of sick leave and vacation leave built up and that my wife works from home so she will be much better equipped to help support me post surgery is very helpful. \u00a0As I said I could go on and on about how all the pieces of the puzzle just have fit together perfectly.<\/p>\n I have also been very blessed to have such a strong and supportive Church family. \u00a0We are a small group but a very close, devoted, and supportive group. \u00a0If you are in the Durham area and are looking for a church family you should check us out at www.peacecovenant.org<\/a> and www.facebook.com\/peacecovenant<\/a>. While I live in Wake Forest my surgery will be in Durham and the support and well wishes I have received from my Church and Work families has been humbling.<\/p>\n And lastly I will be loading up my iPod in preparation for surgery with some inspirational music from Casting Crowns which is my absolute favorite Christian group. \u00a0If you have not heard them before I would highly recommend checking them out. \u00a0I have always struggled in the past with thoughts that God could never possibly love me because I am not good enough. \u00a0At a particularly low time I heard my first Casting Crowns song “East to West” which was and continues to be a good reminder and immensely helpful. \u00a0When going through life’s trials their “Every Man” and “Praise You in this Storm” have gotten me through and continue to be my favorite songs to date. \u00a0Possibly because those are the first I heard or possibly just because the message in them is so powerful and meaningful. \u00a0At any rate I will be loading them up this evening to try and keep me going strong and positive throughout the surgery and recovery.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I suppose during those really tough times in life everyone is prone to some internal reflection. It is natural to draw inward and reflect on your relationship with God and have regrets that you have not done as well as you could have and should have. \u00a0We all are fallen people. \u00a0As I drove in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[3,4,14],"class_list":["post-1829","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal","tag-chiari-malformation","tag-faith","tag-syringomyelia"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/willandadri.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1829","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/willandadri.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/willandadri.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/willandadri.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/willandadri.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1829"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/willandadri.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1829\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2106,"href":"https:\/\/willandadri.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1829\/revisions\/2106"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/willandadri.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1829"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/willandadri.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1829"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/willandadri.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1829"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}