Soooooo sorry, there is no censoring this. Last night absolutely sucked!
Some days I feel as if the more I heal, the worse I feel. I know logically that this is probably due to the fact that I have been trying to scale back on the meds to prepare myself for joining reality again some day soon. But knowing this doesn’t help.
Last night the headaches came back full force. And this time even laying down didn’t help. To make matters worse, I had severe neck and shoulder muscle pain. I could definitely feel where they cut the muscles in my neck. We tried pills, heating pads, everything and nothing helped.
It would have been somewhat tolerable, like the headaches, if I had been able to find a position to lay in that was comfortable and could just veg out. But noooo my neck had other plans. My neck and head worked in cahoots to make every moment miserable. I could not find any position at all that would ease the pain in my neck yet for whatever reason I felt the need to keep moving and trying to find that magic position that would make everything feel better. The problem? Every time I moved even an inch my head exploded. I mean seriously I almost expected to reach up and discover that my head was no longer attached to my body.
Thankfully we still had some Vicodin remaining from my last prescription and came to the conclusion that this experiment (although doctor prescribed) about using caffeine to try and stop the headaches was a complete failure. So this lasted a couple of hours until it was time for my next round of pills and we switched back to the Vicodin and kept that going all night. Thankfully my wife is an amazing person and set her alarm to wake up twice last night to give me doses of the pain meds.
So today I am still not feeling 100% but am feeling much much better. I still can’t help but think … I am supposed to join real life and go back to work in 9 days? Seriously? If scaling back a little from the narcotics causes full on pain on the 9 – 10 scale rather than just increasing the discomfort, how am I supposed to stop taking these pills in a week. I suppose I will find out but this whole mess is getting very old and I just feel like it will never end sometimes …
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