willandadri.com

So as you may notice I am jumping around in the time frame a bit.  I decided to post smaller topic specific entries so they can be digested by the reader in smaller more meaningful chunks.  This will also help me work with my ADHD and ensure that I do not forget to post something important to me because my mind wandered off on a tangent as I changed topics.  You will also notice a common theme in most of my postings.  My emotional journey was very diverse and my mood could change quickly for no apparent reason.  Many people will feel this way and it is completely normal for what you are going through, I just tried to make sure I allowed myself to accept and experience these feelings instead of bottling them up.

So the day before surgery arrived and was met with both excitement and anxiety.  I was sad because we were leaving the beach and I knew I would not be returning until September.  I was excited because we were going to pick up Lori at the airport in the evening and it is always a blast visiting with her.  I also felt anxious because it seemed time was slipping through my fingers so fast.  I still didn’t really know what to expect for recovery from the surgery but it seemed as if each step we took (leaving the beach, calling the surgery hotline, picking up Lori at the airport) seemed to happen at a steadily accelerating pace propelling me towards the dreaded surgery as time passed in a blur with events happening merely in my peripheral vision.  I started to panic feeling as if I was not ready and not prepared but surgery was looming ever closer on the horizon and there was nothing I could do to make the situation any better.  I tried to simply hold on tight, keep all the pieces together, and not fall off the ride as we zoomed right along.

Shortly before I was to call the Duke hotline they called me.  I was requested to arrive at 12:30pm the next day to check in for surgery. While I felt very relieved to finally know when the surgery would be taking place, my anxiety level also increased as the whole experience was made more real.  We distracted ourselves by sending updates via telephone, Facebook, and email to notify friends and family of when the surgery was anticipated to start.  I then got online to look up Lori’s flight information and received a text message from her saying she was delayed just as I saw the delayed status online.  Her flight leaving Chicago was delayed and she was stuck on the tarmac at Detroit waiting for them to find another pilot as the primary pilot called out sick with the flu. I called the Pit and explained our situation and they were kind enough to allow us to bump our reservation back by 45 minutes even though their website said there were no more reservations available for that day.  We left and picked up Lori at the airport before continuing on to the Pit for a fabulous dinner.  More sadness set in once we were seated as I realized this was my last meal before surgery.  They were out of the beer I had wanted to try but I was able to select a 2nd one with no problem.  They also told me they were out of the meatloaf that I finally decided to try after eying it the past few times we came to the Pit but after I gave him the evil eye the waiter said he would go check and returned with good news.  We enjoyed our dinner and catching up and just being in this moment of normalcy before the unknown began.  Once we returned home it was time to take a shower using my own shampoo and some special anti-bacterial sponge provided by the hospital.  After the shower it was past midnight so I was no longer allowed to eat or drink anything and went to bed knowing I needed the rest but wishing that sleep wouldn’t make the next day come so soon.

So Duke just called and I am supposed to check in tomorrow at Duke University Hospital in Durham at 12:30 pm.  The surgery is anticipated to start about an hour and a half (so around 2:00 pm) after check in and last for 3 hours.  So if all goes well / according to plan I will be out of surgery by 5:00 pm.  Getting ready to pick up Lori from the airport (can’t wait to see her although I wish it were under better circumstances) and then go for a fun dinner at the Pit before beginning the pre-surgery routine.  Peace out!

Well unfortunately it has come and gone. We are packing up to leave the beach. It has been an interesting couple of days. In some ways amazing and in others not so great but I wouldn’t change it for anything. It’s times like these when you reflect and learn much about yourself and those around you. I have been humbled at times to see how many people I am surrounded with in my daily life that are so supportive and loving.

Friday night we arrived to the most amazing Birthday cake. Lori and Chris had collaborated with the cake people up the street, the beach house owner, and the handyman next door to make all of this happen. Not even Adrianne had a clue what was going on! We wandered out to see what was around and settled on a seafood bar and grill on the marina thinking we might sit on the dock and overlook the water. The food was really good and they had live music but not my scene. Once we actually got there I guess the weight of what was about to happen started hitting me and I just really didn’t want to be around people. I tried my best to have fun and enjoy the shrimp poboy that looked so amazing but I started having panic attacks and ended up just picking at dinner. We left and ended up spending a quiet relaxing evening in for the remainder of the night.

Saturday started out really good with a nice time on the beach, a couple of drinks at the Tiki Bar on the pier, and a wonderful Seafood (king crab legs) late lunch on the pier at Oceanic. It went downhill quickly after that. I got very dizzy and nauseous and was struggling not to throw up for a good couple of hours. Making matter worse I felt very tired as if I couldn’t keep my eyes open but every time I closed my eyes the dizziness got worse which made the nausea worse. Luckily by the time we arrived back at the house the nausea had subsided enough that I took a nap and felt better after that but we took it easy and hung out for the rest of the evening watching Ron White and other comedians on TV. By the time 11:30 rolled around we decided to head out to the HT for some ice cream to go with my birthday cake. We got home shortly after my Birthday and began the celebration. I got to open my cards and presents and got the Kindle I had wanted forever! It is great because it will be very helpful in the future allowing me to take all of my Oracle reference books with me instead of having to anticipate what I will need and lug around a lot of heavy books. It will also save me a lot of money because those books are typically $50 but the Kindle versions are only $35. It will also be very helpful now because it is so light I shouldn’t have a problem using it after the surgery. And even if I don’t feel up to holding and playing with it for whatever reason, it has a text-to-speech option so I could have it read books to me or download audio books to listen to.

Luckily Sunday was amazing and uneventful from a stress standpoint. It was supposed to pour down rain all day but as we got up and got moving it actually cleared up and had rather nice weather. We started the day at the Surf House which is a really cool little place. It has a surf shop on one side and a counter and set of tables / TVs on the other side serving breakfast and lunch. I had what sounds like a simple bacon, egg, and cheddar sandwich on a honey wheat bagel but it was probably the best one I have ever had. We then followed up with coffees from Port City Java before heading to the Aquarium at Fort Fisher. I haven’t been to the Aquarium in a long time (and never been to one in NC) and had been wanting to go for a while. We both had a great time and enjoyed ourselves seeing and learning about the various animals. We even got to touch a horseshoe crab and some corral. Adrianne was brave enough to pick up the horseshoe crab and flip it over to look and play with it but I didn’t want to have any part in that. After that we had a good seafood lunch outside and spent some more time on the beach in the sun at Kure beach. Another nap followed (for whatever reason I have been VERY fond of the afternoon naps this weekend) before we got ready and went to the most amazing birthday dinner. Wilmington was a very nice city and the waterfront was amazing. It reminded us both a little of Savanna and Charleston. We went to the little dipper for dinner and were greeted with a tank of Jellyfish as you first walk into the restaurant. The dinner was very good and here happened the only stressful part of the day which luckily only lasted for a few moments. We got a nice bottle of wine as is our usual birthday tradition but I had to stop drinking any because I noticed a trend. The more wine I drank the more depressed I became as I began to reflect on the coming events and how I was not ready for this weekend to end. So I focused back on the amazing dark chocolate and amaretto fondue and Adrianne did a good job of distracting me until it passed and I was back to “normal”.

So here now I sit typing this up as she is packing around me getting ready to leave. I am still not ready to go but I am happy to be taking some great memories with me. And like often happens in life I have many mixed feelings about returning home. I really don’t want to return home and end the vacation prematurely but I also want to go home and just relax and spend some down time before all the craziness starts. I also can’t wait to see Lori this evening and pick her up from the airport but then at the same rate that means that it will be time to call and find out when the surgery is tomorrow and begin my series of showers with the “special” soap. Uggh. I plan on writing one more post once I find out when the surgery is and then won’t be back on until I feel better after the surgery.